I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I FOUND THE LEGS
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
