So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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