goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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