i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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