At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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