Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
