the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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