So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
