if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize