I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
