My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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