Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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