just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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