I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
