Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
