so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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