You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
