There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
