id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
