In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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