Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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