dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
