Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize