he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
