I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
