I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
