I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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