hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
