kristin has been a bad kristin
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize