i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
