We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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