Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
