ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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