STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Operation Purity has been aborted
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
