If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
