Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
