He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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