absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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