oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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