Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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