i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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