just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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