trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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