Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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