There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There r osticjed everywhere
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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