He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
