the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize