So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
