he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
