Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
