operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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