I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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