Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
