Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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