Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
