there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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