just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
