I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
