Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize