people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize