i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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