Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
